Hope you have been hale and hearty.
Many congratulations on your highly substantiate prophecy yet again. I'm sure if Nostradamus had eight legs he wouldn't have been any different. I must say women have been finding it difficult to keep their tentacles off you.
Also I learn that you have decided to call it day. Splendid thought! Always go out when on the top or bottom well that depends on whose on top of you... ahem!
I understand that life now hasn't been very easy for you in Oberhausen. Hate mails, death threats... it's taking all the slime off the success. The idea of being fried up and landing on a dinner plate in Kyoto, Japan certainly isn't the most comforting thought either.
Please consider my proposition, Move your base to India!
How will that help? The way I see it...
1. You may die of contaminated water but that's still better dying to become food.
2. Contaminated water may not be that bad.. after all look at us, we are still thriving, I can give you a billion people who'd vouch for that.
3. You won't have to predict Indian football matches ever. We all know who's gonna win when there's an India v/s Turkmenistan clash. Don't we?!
4. You can probably consider leasing out your expertise as a consultant to Indian Parakeets who were quite popular before you came along.
5. Star in a Bollywood movie/join politics(of course, since you are not indian.. you'd probably find yourself sitting as the party president)
6. Become a Deity!
Hope you were as excited to read this as i was, writing this to you.
Hoping to see you in Indian waters soon I remain...
With Warmest Regards
The Broker in every one of us.
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