8:45 AM: Just about to finish my bowl of flakes.
15 minutes, it takes me 15 minutes to walk to work. I know it's a bit of a convenience considering the hour long ordeal it would rather be in the sweltering heat of Mumbai.. But that is not what this is about. I am late, yes AGAIN!
Three alarms and still L.A.T.E! Anyways gotta run..
8:47 AM: Keys -check, phone - check, wallet - check, watch - check! OK - out of door - now the long walk down the hallway. The hallway always kinda spooks the hell out of me. It always reminds me of those creepy corridors they show in the SAW series. No windows and locked doors, you never know if anybody is behind them. For all you know a bloody hand creeps up on to your shoulder as you go past that next door. :S
8:49 AM: Waiting for the lift - Have you ever had that feeling when the building lift is just not moving fast enough? and for some reason my lift stops at every floor, even when you know there is barely anybody else moving in or out of it. All you hear is the the lift door open and close. *feels a chill go down his spine*
Did I lock the door? yes I did! or did I? whoa whoa.. hold on.. lets roll it back a bit.. I remember taking out the key.. what did I do next? did I lock the freaking door? - Of forgetting birthdays, important dates and other petty things, this is the worst kind of memory loss! The part where I can never remember if I put in the grove and rotated the key!
*ting* The lift's here.. what about the door? f*ck it!
8:51 AM: On the streets - 6 minutes off schedule - alright then power walking it is! But before that.. time for a quick pseudo smoke. With the slight nip in the air allowing the spontaneous condensation of your breath.. a few puff's are all in good spirit!
In fact I have a theory, the density of smoke generated is directly proportional to how buttoned your overcoat is. This of course is when your are either poor and/or from a really hot and humid foreign land and don't have a choice of winter wear to choose from!
8:53 AM: As I walk past the first intersection I see bunch of men re-stocking The Standing Order with barrels of drought beer. The truckers looks grim, they see me as a nuisance trying to obstruct them as I walk casually expecting them to move unlike the others who chose to walk on the other side of the road. A few grins exchanged I find my way through the stench of fermented malt.
No grudges there, I kind of empathize these truckers. Poor lads couldn't get a pint of larger despite driving truckloads of it all night.
8:55 AM: As I approach Costa - There's the Filipino gang skyping on free wifi, the bendy wrist gay dude all suited up for work and habibi - The equally ravishing counterpart of the Lebanese dame from my gym. I pass them all by as now I'm literally jogging to work.
I can't resist but take another quick look at habibi. Those stilettos and that short skirt were a match made in heaven.
Now here's the thing, the other day this lad comes up to me and says, "how can women wear short skirts in winter?!" to which i softly replied.. I don't know that! But what I do know is if that is the first question that pops in your head on seeing short skirts, there is 83% chance that you are gay.
8:59 AM: The Big Issue - I just lost another 2 minutes gawking at habibi. Now, at the final corner I am almost there but I still have to dodge the Big Issue seller. Basically he is a homeless guy trying to make a living by selling magazines and I totally respect the effort he puts into it. He cracks me up with his one liners.With stuff like "yabba-dabba-doo, buy The Big Issue, only from Scooby Doo" or "Please buy the last copy of The Big Issue so that I can go home in peace!" or "Big Issue. Only 50p, just the price of a cuppa tea". Its difficult not to just stand there and hear him go at it all day.
9:01 AM: It's a touch down! Time to face my mortal enemy once again - the office lift. People ask me, "why don't you just take the stairs?" I look these people straight into their eyes and tell them "That is just outrageous! what sort of a lazy person does that?" Anyways, after twiddling my thumbs, pretending to watch BBC and staring the carpet through the left corner of my eye for what seemed like an eternity the lift finally arrived.
9:06 AM: When you are the last person to arrive at work and don't wanna show it, try to walk in with a confident look like never left. You were gone for some coffee and a piss but were there since like 7AM . I like to believe it works, although secretly I know it doesn't and hope nobody spots me sneaking into my desk.
Well, that about sums it up.Talk about monday morning blues!
15 minutes, it takes me 15 minutes to walk to work. I know it's a bit of a convenience considering the hour long ordeal it would rather be in the sweltering heat of Mumbai.. But that is not what this is about. I am late, yes AGAIN!
Three alarms and still L.A.T.E! Anyways gotta run..
8:47 AM: Keys -check, phone - check, wallet - check, watch - check! OK - out of door - now the long walk down the hallway. The hallway always kinda spooks the hell out of me. It always reminds me of those creepy corridors they show in the SAW series. No windows and locked doors, you never know if anybody is behind them. For all you know a bloody hand creeps up on to your shoulder as you go past that next door. :S
8:49 AM: Waiting for the lift - Have you ever had that feeling when the building lift is just not moving fast enough? and for some reason my lift stops at every floor, even when you know there is barely anybody else moving in or out of it. All you hear is the the lift door open and close. *feels a chill go down his spine*
Did I lock the door? yes I did! or did I? whoa whoa.. hold on.. lets roll it back a bit.. I remember taking out the key.. what did I do next? did I lock the freaking door? - Of forgetting birthdays, important dates and other petty things, this is the worst kind of memory loss! The part where I can never remember if I put in the grove and rotated the key!
*ting* The lift's here.. what about the door? f*ck it!
8:51 AM: On the streets - 6 minutes off schedule - alright then power walking it is! But before that.. time for a quick pseudo smoke. With the slight nip in the air allowing the spontaneous condensation of your breath.. a few puff's are all in good spirit!
In fact I have a theory, the density of smoke generated is directly proportional to how buttoned your overcoat is. This of course is when your are either poor and/or from a really hot and humid foreign land and don't have a choice of winter wear to choose from!
8:53 AM: As I walk past the first intersection I see bunch of men re-stocking The Standing Order with barrels of drought beer. The truckers looks grim, they see me as a nuisance trying to obstruct them as I walk casually expecting them to move unlike the others who chose to walk on the other side of the road. A few grins exchanged I find my way through the stench of fermented malt.
No grudges there, I kind of empathize these truckers. Poor lads couldn't get a pint of larger despite driving truckloads of it all night.
8:55 AM: As I approach Costa - There's the Filipino gang skyping on free wifi, the bendy wrist gay dude all suited up for work and habibi - The equally ravishing counterpart of the Lebanese dame from my gym. I pass them all by as now I'm literally jogging to work.
I can't resist but take another quick look at habibi. Those stilettos and that short skirt were a match made in heaven.
Now here's the thing, the other day this lad comes up to me and says, "how can women wear short skirts in winter?!" to which i softly replied.. I don't know that! But what I do know is if that is the first question that pops in your head on seeing short skirts, there is 83% chance that you are gay.
8:59 AM: The Big Issue - I just lost another 2 minutes gawking at habibi. Now, at the final corner I am almost there but I still have to dodge the Big Issue seller. Basically he is a homeless guy trying to make a living by selling magazines and I totally respect the effort he puts into it. He cracks me up with his one liners.With stuff like "yabba-dabba-doo, buy The Big Issue, only from Scooby Doo" or "Please buy the last copy of The Big Issue so that I can go home in peace!" or "Big Issue. Only 50p, just the price of a cuppa tea". Its difficult not to just stand there and hear him go at it all day.
9:01 AM: It's a touch down! Time to face my mortal enemy once again - the office lift. People ask me, "why don't you just take the stairs?" I look these people straight into their eyes and tell them "That is just outrageous! what sort of a lazy person does that?" Anyways, after twiddling my thumbs, pretending to watch BBC and staring the carpet through the left corner of my eye for what seemed like an eternity the lift finally arrived.
9:06 AM: When you are the last person to arrive at work and don't wanna show it, try to walk in with a confident look like never left. You were gone for some coffee and a piss but were there since like 7AM . I like to believe it works, although secretly I know it doesn't and hope nobody spots me sneaking into my desk.
Well, that about sums it up.Talk about monday morning blues!
